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I’m not always inspired to blog, but I am tonight.  

I’m reading a book by Francis Frangipane called “The Three Battlegrounds,” and it is radically changing the way I see the world around me, how I handle the thoughts inside my head, and what I would say about the condition of my heart.  

So far, 2012 has held a lot of shifts in my mind.  Granted, I have really seen God change so many things in my life in the past several years, there are always things that need to be shifted in my thinking.  For example, instead of feeling the need to be superwoman, I can just be who I am.  Instead of feeling like I have to know what’s going on at all times, it’s okay for me to never know.  Instead of feeling like I cannot get over an argument, a hurt feeling, I apply grace instead.  Instead of feeling like there is no possible way that I can make up for my failures, I feel no need to make up for my failures, but just simply allow God to do what He has always wanted to do when I fail: love me, forgive me, encourage me, restore me back to His heart.  Gosh.  He’s so darn good.

This book has really shone so much light on mindsets that were soooooo off from the truth that is Christ.  And, what’s so wonderful, is that by fixing the mindsets, I find freedom, which means that I become more mature in my walk with Christ, I can love Him better, and I can minister His love better.  I am always asking to hear what He wants to say to me.  But, the thing is that if my mind is still screwed up in its thinking, I cannot hear what He is saying.  I am always hearing through the filter of my thoughts which are not full of truth all the time.  So, tearing down old mindsets breaks down the barrier between my spirit and my mind.  And what is the result?  PEACE.  Beautiful peace.  There’s nothing better than the peace of God.

Something that He is so magnificently teaching me is how truly terrible striving is for the heart.  It causes us to feel like we can never do enough, like we have to work for God’s love and blessings, or like we have to be something we aren’t in order for God to be able to use us the way He longs.  It also makes us feel like objects rather than sons and daughters.  And, when we’re striving, we aren’t able to clearly hear the voice of God, because He’s always speaking quiet, peace, rest, hope, life, clarity, ease of mind.  He is never making our lives busy…He makes our lives FULL, but never busy.  

Life, as we perceive it, is based upon the condition of our heart.  This is very important because the gifts of the Spirit must pass through our hearts before they are presented to the world around us.  In other words, if our hearts are not right, the gifts will not be right either.  When the heart has unrest it cannot hear from God.  Therefore, we must learn to mistrust our judgement when our heart is bitter, angry, ambitious or harboring strife for any reason.  The Scriptures tell us to “let the peace of Christ rule [act as arbiter] in [our] hearts” (Colossians 3:15).  To hear clearly from God, we must first have peace.

The Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane

 So, I rest in the fact that God is God, He loves me, He forgives forever, and I get to inherit the Kingdom of God.  THAT is a wonderful thing.

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Then you will understand what is right and just and fair - every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to you soul.  Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

-Proverbs 2:1-6, 9-11 

I’m a 22 year old in full time ministry and have been for almost 2 years.  I get the honor to help disciple and train a generation to fear and love the Lord.  I find this incredibly strange that God has placed me here, now, at this time, to do this specific task.  Of course, I know he’s brought me here for things that it has and will teach me as well.  Nonetheless, it continues to amaze me that someone thinks I’m qualified to do this job.  Why do I say that?  Because I feel just as curious about the next step, the next season, the next phase of life that God has for me as anyone else.  

As I was reading this passage in Proverbs this morning, I realized that the questions of, “What am I supposed to do with my life?  Which way am I supposed to go?  Where am I supposed to be?” are not questions that I just hear my students ask all the time, but questions we all ask on a pretty consistent basis (or at least we should).  When we don’t know the answers to these questions, I know I can only speak for myself, but I get frustrated with the not knowing and want to just move along in whatever direction I was already walking in.  Solomon says in this passage that if we want to know what is “right and just and fair - every good path” we must apply our hearts to understanding, seek wisdom, turn our ears to His commands, call out for insight, and cry out for understanding.  What does that mean?  Meditate on the Word of God.  Allow your soul to soak in it, seek wise counsel, cry out for more understanding of Him.  

Often, we, as impatient frustrated beings, get angry with the not knowing, stamp our feet, pout, and cry to get all the answers right now.  But, the Lord’s answer for knowing the right path is to meditate on His Words of wisdom.  When we allow our souls to marinate in the Word of God, it begins to separate flesh from spirit, emotion from discernment, wisdom from selfish and foolish ways.  

For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Our hearts CANNOT stay the same as we allow the Lord’s word to penetrate our hearts.  That only comes spending time in His word, reading, meditating, obeying, and applying our hearts to it.  THEN we can know the fair, just, and right way.  THEN we will understand the fear of the Lord, and we will find knowledge of God.

So, as I have questions about where God has me going next, what He is saying next, rather than turning to frustration, I will turn to the word immediately.  Maybe my answer is not a place, a thing, or a new calling.  Maybe my answer is to allow my heart to change so I can be transformed from glory to glory.